Letter to My 18 Year Old Self

Dear Younger Me,

You're about to start college. Its going to be fun and exciting, but also a lot of work. Even though its fun to hang out with friends and socialize, do not neglect the importance of your school work. These are the days when you prepare for the rest of your life. Take advantage of the rare opportunity to be a full-time student. You are going to take a math class. Math 1050. This class is critical to the rest of your college days. Work hard now and it will save you a world of frustration down the road.

Sincerely,
The Older You

Mirrors

Ever since I saw the idea to do a mirror wall I've been obsessed with having a display of my own. Over the last couple months since I've lived in my apartment I've been on the hunt for just the right grouping of mirrors. My collection is not quite complete, I'm still in want of a porthole mirror, however, I have found one, I just need to save up for it.

And, call me vain, but I love looking at myself in the mirror. I make faces at myself, have pep talks and make sure I look presentable enough to show my face in public. If you were at a RS activity with my student ward a long while ago, you'll know a secret I revealed. Nearly every day before I leave for work I do one final check in front of the mirror, smile, and wink at myself. I like starting the day off with a positive attitude. It doesn't always hold through the day, but I do my best.

Tender Mercies

Today I looked in my cupboard and refrigerator and couldn't really find anything to take with me to work. Then I remembered that my mom was picking me up for lunch today. When I got to work they had breakfast for one of the meetings and they shared with me. I am so thankful for the little things, which to me are big.

Why I Love Institute

Yesterday I was having a totally blah day. I didn't feel like anything was good in my life, even though I know that's totally ridiculous. After work I came home and sat at my desk staring at my computer. Suddenly I heard my phone, I had a text message from my sister-in-law. We conversed back and forth and chatted about my situation. She was very encouraging and even sent me some cute pictures of her smiling children. It made me tear up a little. I have such an amazing family who support me without question. I don't know what I'd do without them.

Later on I drove up to the university institute for the first day of my new class for this semester. I'm taking Teachings of the Living Prophets from one of my favorite institute teachers, Brother Christensen. I hadn't seen him for over a year. I went into the classroom and found a seat (second row, left side, which is probably where I'll sit all semester because I'm a creature of habit). My teacher came in and immediately recognized me, said hello and asked how I was doing. It meant so much to me that he remembered me. 

The class itself was amazing. I'd remembered that he was an excellent teacher, but I forgot HOW good. Wow. It was exactly what I needed. My attitude totally changed for the better. I felt more confident and  was given a renewed sense of self. The gospel is so wonderful. I am always so amazed by its power to bring joy and happiness. When you take the time to step back and look at the big picture it makes the small problems of my days seemingly insignificant . 

One of the things Brother Christensen emphasizes is recognizing tender mercies in our lives. They can be large or small, but everyone has them. The power of gratitude on your mood is stunning. Today my tender mercy was not just being able to get up before 5am to run, it was that I didn't really feel tired. I was energetic and excited to start my day. That was a very tender mercy. 

Go to Institute. It will change your life.

Findlay Men

Boys will be Boys

Attitude

They say a picture says a thousand words. 

Brothers

The older I get the stronger my love is for these great men. One brother isn't pictured but he means just as much to me. I'm so grateful for my family and for the love they show so unconditionally for me.

Words of Inspiration

I love good music. This morning I began listening to some beautiful renditions sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. One particular hymn always has a profound impact on my spirit. The title of the hymn is:

 "Thou Gracious God Whose Mercy Lends"


Thou gracious God, whose mercy lends
the light of home, the smile of friends,
our gathered flock thine arms enfold
as in the peaceful days of old.

Wilt thou not hear us while we raise
in sweet accord of solemn praise
the voices that have mingled long
in joyous flow of mirth and song?

For all the blessings life has brought,
for all its sorrowing hours have taught,
for all we mourn, for all we keep,
the hands we clasp, the loved that sleep.

The noontide sunshine of the past,
these brief, bright moments fading fast,
the stars that gild our darkening years,
the twilight ray from holier spheres.

We thank thee, Father; let thy grace
our loving circle still embrace,
thy mercy shed its heavenly store,
thy peace be with us evermore.

Day 31 {The End}

December is gone and a new year has begun. I am happy I did this month of self discovery and improvement. I have learned a little more about myself and how I can make myself happier by looking for the good and serving others.

I would like to relate life to the story of the Little Princess. In the beginning of the story, though Sarah was alone while her father was at war, she always focused on the positive side of things and encouraged others around her to do the same. When she got word that her father was killed at war, she lost all hope and sunk into despair as she was demoted to a servant in her school. One day as she was out at the market a young boy gave her some money. She used the money to buy a sweet roll from the bakery. As she was about to devour the yummy bread she noticed a small family trying to sell flowers. One daughter looked particularly hungry. Rather than eat the roll herself, Sarah gave it to the young girl. In return the family gave her a flower, and the mother said "For the Princess".  This completely changed Sarah's perspective and she was able to once again see the good in the world.

The reason I share this story is that sometimes life seems to be full of sadness and despair, however, all one must do is look around to see the light. Focus on the good. It can always be found if you make the effort to look for it.

This month began as an experiment to help my heart heal from emotional pain and sadness. I do believe I have made a little progress. I have to say, however, that I allowed a slight detour. One weekend this month I had 3 dates in a row. This went against my original plan, but I decided to allow it. One of these dates was with the very individual I am trying to get over. Why did we go on a date? Simple. He asked me. After that date I did not hear a word until tonight. He sent me a message offering a happy birthday message along with a wish for me to have happiness and joy. I know he means it too. I think some of the hardest relationships in the world are the ones you want more than anything to work out happily, yet it doesn't happen. This journey is not over, nor will it be until I finish this mortal probation. I must move forward and trust in the Lord. He is my best advocate, my advisor, my friend. My resolution this year is simple. It is time to let go, to put my faith and trust in the Savior, for that is the only way.