Diary of a Dater
If at first you don't succeed, try try again...
Situation #1 Missionary Moment
Boy meets girl at a post missionary gathering. Smiles are exchanged across the way. They eventually find each other on Facebook, that ever increasing tool of social networking. Chats ensue and the boy gets the girl's number and a date.
Date #1 – Dinner
Chicago style hot dogs. What a charmer. He knew a way to find connections. They both served in the Illinois Chicago South Mission. Delightful conversation, though somewhat timid, occurred. Each found pleasure in the other's company. It ended with a doorstep hug and a goodbye.
Date #2 – Dinner + Movie
A few days later, feeling impressed that things went well enough for another go-round, the girl calls the boy and encourages a second date. He invites her to dinner plus a movie. (The dates are now extending a bit, good sign right?)
He picks her up for dinner. The restaurant is a bit more upscale. Their table is outside on the terrace. Following the meal, they drive to Jordan Commons and peruse the current playlist of movies. His first suggestion shocks the poor innocent girl, an R-rated movie. She quickly declines and suggests an alternative. A somewhat interesting, but one timer movie called “500 Days of Summer”.
After the movie, on the way out to the car, the boy asks the girl if she has ever been in a serious relationship. What does one say to a forward question such as this? She shyly responds that she has not. He then proceeds to explain to her that he has and that the girl he desired was getting married that very weekend. The girl tried to show sympathy and support, though in the back of her mind she was wondering why he would share such things on a second date.
Before the couple even exited the parking lot, he turned to her and began “the talk”. He began by expressing to her how pretty she was and what a wonderful person she is. Then he began to compare their relationship to the one in the movie they had just seen. Basically that even though they could be really great friends, they are not meant to be together in a romantic sense.
The entire rest of the way to the girls house the boy apologized again and again that things couldn't work out between them. She tried her best to console him and assure him that all would be well. Two dates was not enough to damage her heart. This date also ended with a doorstep hug.
Date #3 – Dinner
Why? Your guess is as good as hers. A month or so following date #2, the boy contacts her via Facebook, yet again, and invites her to dinner. He picks her up and takes her for sushi. They enjoy more good conversation, but the entire evening the girl is baffled as to why the boy asked her out on another date. On the drive back to the girl's house, he again reiterates that she is a pretty girl and a wonderful person, and apologizes that they cannot be more for each other.
Where are they now?
Two more encounters have taken place, simple friendly get-togethers. They are on good terms and are still great friends. The girl takes comfort in that she feels they could never get together anyway because of his choice in movies. And so their relationship is purely plutonic.
Situation #2 Flirting with Disaster
Boy meets girl at a stake speed dating fhe activity. The chemistry is good. Both parties seem genuinely interested and eager to get to know the other better. The girl learns that the boy is in her student single's ward and teaches gospel doctrine. She expresses an interest in attending his upcoming lesson which would take place two weeks from that time. On the appointed Sunday she discovered she would be unable to attend his lesson due to another commitment. Feeling like she ought to let him know, she looked up his phone number in the ward directory and called him. There was no answer so she left a message explaining why she would not be attending his lesson.
Later that same afternoon the boy calls back and asks her out on a date.
Date #1 – Institute + Dinner
The only time the girl had available for the date was on the evening she attended institute. Rather than meeting up after her class, they decided to attend together. She met the boy at his house and he drove them to the class. Afterwards he took her to Leatherby's for dinner and ice cream. They had wonderful conversation and learned much about each other.
On the way home she mentioned she would be attending the temple a couple days later early in the morning. He expressed interest in joining her there, so she offered for him to go along.
Date #2 – Temple + Breakfast
Two days after the first date, the girl drove to the boy's house to pick him up in the wee small hours of the morning. They attended a session at the Jordan River Temple then he treated her to breakfast. She drove him home and rushed to get back to work. It was a good way to begin her morning.
Date #3 – Movie
Throughout the week following the first date, which took place on a Tuesday, text messages were sent back and forth which seemed to express an interest beyond just a couple dates. Eventually the boy asked her for a third date for Saturday evening. A movie. He picked her up and took her to see “The Princess and the Frog”. She had mentioned earlier in the week that she had an interest in seeing it. He remembered.
Date #4 – Concert and Troubled Waters
The girl has connections to the Orchestra at temple square. She had tickets for their upcoming concert, so she invited the boy to go with her the Saturday following date #4. During the week prior, Tuesday evening to be exact, she received a text message that disturbed her greatly. He told her that he had forgotten his phone that day and that night he had taken his best friend's wife out to dinner. Yes. Wife.
The content of this message troubled her greatly. She thought about calling the boy to inquire further into the situation. She attempted it once, but there was no answer. So she waited until the appointed date. They met on Temple Square and made their way to the Tabernacle. The girl was very quiet and reserved agonizing over what she was going to say. The boy, as boys can be, was completely oblivious to the situation.
The girl inquired about the wife of the boy's best friend, seeking details. This only caused more frustration due to the total lack of propriety in the situation. Nothing more was said of the situation until they pulled in to the girl's driveway. They got out of the car, she turned to the boy and simply stated her stance that she was not okay with the situation involving this married couple. The boy gave no explanation other than that he is really great friends with the married couple. The girl raised her hands in an exasperated sigh of frustration and said goodnight.
Where are they now?
The girl has yet to attend a gospel doctrine class taught by this boy. He is still in her ward and will attempt conversation on occasion. She will politely respond, but not prolong the encounter.
Situation #3 To Be or Not To Be?
Girl sees boy at ward choir practice shortly after he joins the ward. She sees him again at a ward activity, a BYU vs. UofU Rugby game. They sit together. Girl sees boy at ward prayer and goes to sit by him. They talk about everything from their missions to family to their favorite kind of dessert. He likes lemon bars. At the end of the evening the boy gets the girl's phone number.
Date #1 – Concert + Ice Cream
The girl gave her phone number on a Sunday evening. An entire week went by with no word, then she spotted him at fhe. She smiled encouragingly. He called her later that evening and invited her to join him for a date to go see a group called the Eagleland Chorus. A barbershop choir.
He picked her up Saturday evening in his mother's brand new car. A beautiful Nissan Altima. He was a perfect gentleman. He opened her doors and was totally respectful at all times. They enjoyed the concert and he took her for ice cream at Leatherby's. (that restaurant has had some drama).
He takes her home at the end of the evening, escorts her to her front door and gives her a hug and a goodnight.
Date #2 – Copper Mine + Park
Things went well on the first date, so the next week the girl called the boy and invited him to go with her to the Kennecott Copper Mine.
The girl picked him up at the appointed time and they drove up the canyon. The weather was rather disagreeable, but they had fun anyway. When the museum curator began shutting things down, they drove down the canyon and over to Copperton Park for dessert. She made his favorite, lemon bars. They ate their treats then had fun playing on the playground at the park. He expressed an interest in board and card games and inquired if she liked them as well. She said that she did. So they eventually went back to the boys house and played a couple of board games. When the second was finished she excused herself. He gave her a hug and she went home.
Date #3 – Fireside
Two days after date #2 the boy and girl had stake conference on temple square. She spotted him when she arrived and navigated her friends over to sit by him. An announcement was made for a stake fireside that was to be held that evening. Trying to be clever, the girl turned to the boy and told him that she had not yet had the privilege of riding in his car (remember, before he took his mom's car) and if he was going to the fireside would he be willing to take her along. Mission accomplished. He picked her up that evening and they attended the fireside at the Taylorsville Institute.
Afterwards as they were enjoying refreshments the boy asked the girl if she'd like to go out again that Saturday. She said yes which brings us to date #4.
Date #4 – Picnic + Mini-Golf
The original idea for this date was a group activity. The morning of the date, the other boy got sick, so it was just going to be the original boy and girl. The boy picked her up quite later than he had said, but she was forgiving. He took her to Daybreak Lake for a picnic lunch. They ate lunch and played frisbee. Later he took her to play mini-golf. He won though she did score a hole in one. He took her home and as usual gave her a doorstep hug and a goodbye.
Where are they now?
This particular situation would seem to have continued well right? Wrong. The day after date #4 the two find themselves once again at ward prayer. Near the end of the event, the boy asks the girl if she'd like to go for a walk. She says yes and he leads her outside for a walk. As they began down the sidewalk, he slipped his hand in hers and they walked hand in hand in a loop around the neighborhood. At the conclusion of the walk, he escorted her to her car, gave her a hug and they planned to attend institute that Tuesday.
Tuesday evening when the boy picked up the girl, they no sooner had buckled their seat belts when he said he needed to talk to her. He said he had been thinking a lot about everything that had happened since the last time he'd seen her and he felt it would be better if they were just friends. What was the reaction of the girl? Shock. Pure and simple shock. He offered for them to still attend institute but she declined. (not only for the fact that she needed to get away and breath, but the only class offered at the time they could attend was “Happiness in Dating”...)
And so the girl got out of the car, he insisted on giving her one last hug and she went back into the house.
Situation #3 ½ The date that never was...
Girl attends stake fhe BBQ with her friends. She hopes to see boy from situation #3, but find out through text message that he would not be attending. In an effort to expand herself and get to know more people, she breaks away from the group. She found herself sitting alone on a picnic bench. Before long a charming young man sat down next to her and initiated conversation. He asked her name, what she does, hobbies, interests etc. She also inquired the same of him. He invited her to go on a date with him that week. He got her number and told her he would call her the night before to confirm the details. On the night of the anticipated phone call the girl waited and waited and waited. Nothing. She finally sent him a text message inquiring if the date was still on. This is the message she received: “I'm sorry about not letting you know sooner but I have been thinking I am interested in this other girl this week that I have been out a few times with and I don't think going out with someone else is the best thing for me right now.” Shock. Utter and complete shock was the reaction of the girl. Who does this?
Thank you for plowing through. I hope you found some joy and entertainment in delving into my life experiences of late...
