Coming to terms with reality can be a difficult thing to face. Its easy to get caught up in dreams and fairy tales thinking that's how your life ought to be. Even though life is not a fairytale, it is not without hope and miracles.
I can be good at following directions. I wish I had the manual for the life of Catie. It would sure make things a lot easier. But that is not how life works. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the agency I've been given. Its so much responsibility. Nobody has complete control over my life but me. I don't always trust myself to make the best decisions.
Yesterday I had a very powerful manifestation of the love of Christ and how he will never, and has never left me alone. Trusting in that has been hard for me. I don't know why I struggle to accept the love of God and those around me. I constantly beat myself up for my lack of perfection. That attitude is not of heavenly origin.
The time has come to throw off this attitude and have more faith. I know that Heavenly Father loves me, and that is all that matters. I can be strong and move forward. I believe that I have value. I am capable of great things with the help of the Savior.
I am so thankful for the people who surround and support me. I have been blessed with amazing friends. They are angels from heaven. My family is the most amazing support system. I'm so grateful for all they do to show their love for me.
This change of attitude and perspective will not come all at once. Just as any gospel principle, it is learned and mastered line upon line, precept upon precept. I hope that as I draw closer to Christ that I will be able to share the things I have learned with others so that they may also know they are loved.
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